Faith

When we found out we were expecting our first baby, Katy Jayne, we made a list of names we liked, especially because of their meaning. So before we got pregnant, we knew if this little one was a girl her middle name would be Faith.

I'm humbled to know our story has also inspired many of you to greater faith in God. I didn't want to post one more time without asking you to praise our gracious Heavenly Father for the faith you've admired in us. Faith is His gift to us and means nothing without placing it in Him whose name is Faithful and True (Ephesians 2:8, Revelation 19:11). I think that's why Jesus said that you can have faith as small as a mustard seed and have all the faith that you need (Matthew 17:20). It doesn't matter so much how much faith we have as much as in what we put that faith.

We were reminded again last week that He is desiring more than anything to capture our hearts and inviting us to a closer walk on this journey with Him. He asks us to trust Him with all our hearts not just for this season but for a lifetime. On Wednesday of last week, we met with one of the doctors from Maggie Faith's team, a genetics specialist, to review the results of her skin biopsy, which we thought might help shed some light on her metabolic disorder. Guess what? The results were inconclusive! Sound familiar on this journey? We actually laughed at those words, not in a jaded way, but in a knowing way that the Lord has yet to reveal anything conclusive in terms of a diagnosis. Maybe His desire for us is greater than any diagnosis. We have to trust Him when we fear that future children might also have this condition or that our children could carry the genes that would mean they might walk this journey in the future. I place my hope in His unfailing love and that His arms are strong enough to carry me through anything. If you are inspired by our faith, would you direct your gaze to the One who is truly amazing?

Maggie Faith Olivo, deeply loved when there was only the promise of her, lovingly carried by her momma for 38 weeks, graced by her presence for four beautiful days, affectionately danced with her daddy into the arms of her Heavenly Father. Our tiny, priceless pearl who inspired us to greater faith in the One taught us how to love and loves us more extravagantly than we can fathom.

Mother's Day Musings

I thought I would celebrate today by sharing some of the thoughts I've been reflecting on in the past two months:

I'm so grateful for life and legacy. I realized today that I'm a daughter who has lost her mother and a mother who has lost a daughter and yet I'm so blessed by the lives of both.

I'm so grateful for music these days. It's actually one of the legacies my mom left me and my sisters. My mom was truly gifted vocally. She could improvise harmony to anything she heard. Music was part of our everyday life. We grew up in a musical--almost anything could cause us to break out in song. Music has always served us where mere words failed. I find music helps me express what's in my heart and reminds me of what's in God's heart toward me. Music can change ordinary places like living rooms and uncommon places like the NICU into sanctuaries where our hearts are drawn to God. Music is a beautiful gift.

I'm also grateful for the kindness of friends and strangers. Thank you for letting me tell our story! Thank you for considering it a privilege to cry with us! On the hard days when my heart longs to be with Maggie Faith, I take great comfort in sharing my memories of her life and the hope that we have as believers in Christ that we will be reunited with her in the presence of Jesus when our time on earth is through. Sharing Maggie Faith's life reminds me of all the blessings we have in Christ. Thank you for taking the time to read our blog and to comment or email or send us cards and letters. It really is a joy to know her life is remembered by others. For those of you who can't seem to find the words to express to us what is in your heart, please know that we understand your silence and so greatly appreciate the prayers we know you offer on our behalf.

I've also been thankful for Dr. Seuss...Don't you just love Dr. Seuss? His simple lyrical prose and whimsical art have captured the imagination of countless readers, both young and young at heart. I love his heart for children. His line from Horton Hears a Who is precious to me, "A person's a person no matter how small." We have loved each of our children since before they were born. I told Katy Jayne recently that I have loved them since I began dreaming of being a mommy when I was a little girl her age. That refrain from Horton Hears a Who especially expresses what's in my heart toward both my little ones who live in Heaven. We've recorded the life and legacy of Maggie Faith here, but I also want to honor the life of another little one I carried several years ago for eleven weeks before I miscarried. We named that little one "Sprout." We have given each of our babies a nickname while I carry them so that we can announce their given name at birth. We lost Sprout so early in the pregnancy that we don't know if it was a boy or girl so that baby remains Sprout in our memory. If you've ever lost a baby during pregnancy, we honor the tears you have shed and the things you do to remember the life that grew in your body however briefly. We agree with Dr. Seuss -- life is precious!

Before this turns into something that resembles ramblings rather than reflections, I'd like to end this post with some thoughts I wrote down in the booklet we compiled for Maggie Faith's memorial service:

To our precious family and friends,

You have been a treasure to us on this journey! The words “thank you” somehow seem inadequate to express all that is in our hearts toward you. We have been so richly blessed by your prayers, words of encouragement and comfort, for the tears you have shed for and with us. You have demonstrated your love for us in countless ways and your companionship on this journey has been priceless. We ask for the privilege of rejoicing with you when you rejoice, weeping with you when you mourn, offering the love and friendship you have so freely offered us. Our sincerest prayer is that Maggie Faith’s life would draw you closer to the heart of the Father! May He richly bless you for the kindness you have shown us!

With love,

Layne, Amy Joy, Katy Jayne, Connor, Jordan “JoJo” and Maggie Faith