She is so BEAUTIFUL!! Her little face is so sweet. She is indeed fearfully and wonderfully made! Regardless of our baby’s condition, I was excited to see our little one growing, moving, and just being.
I wish that I could write that everything looks normal, but that’s not the news we received yesterday. Our little girl still has a significant amount of fluid on her brain, her cerebellum is effaced (thinned), and she has clubbed feet. Those things usually indicate a spinal defect like spina bifida. However, the doctor couldn’t visualize any actual physical defect. Our baby girl is also smaller than normal for this gestational age. All of those factors taken together concern the doctors that she has a spinal defect and a chromosomal abnormality, but not necessarily Down’s Syndrome as the earlier blood test seemed to indicate. Most of our health care professionals agreed on Friday that these issues probably mean that our little girl will not survive outside the womb. We could go for more testing to determine a definite diagnosis, but we aren’t willing to endure the test that would diagnose the chromosomal abnormality since it is a costly test that presents the risk of miscarriage and won’t change our minds about carrying this precious little girl. We could also have an MRI to look at the spinal defect, but it is also costly and won’t change how our midwife cares for us.
We’ve decided that the Lord has given us this opportunity to cherish, enjoy, and be grateful for every minute we carry our sweet little girl. I treasure every kick and movement! Instead of stressing about our baby’s condition with every new test that seems to create more questions than answers, we’ve decided to focus on the time we have been given. If carrying her is all that we are given, then we want to find joy in the journey!
Our desire is still that we are able to bring a healthy, perfect, little girl into the world, and we are praying for that miracle, for God to do what only He can. That may not be His will, and if not, we will rejoice in every precious moment He gives us, but since even Jesus asked for a different path than the Cross if it accomplished God’s will, we are asking for a path different than the doctors see. We choose to believe that whatever path He takes us on His grace will be sufficient for us and His glory will be displayed (2 Corinthians 12:9).
We covet your continued prayers for our little girl and our family. We are also asking God for a special measure of wisdom and grace in helping our little ones understand our baby’s condition and deal with such personal grief and loss at such tender ages. I have to trust that if He has ordained this for Layne and me that all our children are safely in His hands.
Yesterday wasn’t all bad news. Our precious Katy Jayne who will turn 5 years old on Saturday prayed with her Daddy, confessing that Jesus is Lord and believing in her heart that God raised Him from the dead (Romans 10:9). She is excited about going to Heaven to live with Jesus someday. Our hearts are overflowing with joy at this step in her journey!
Thanks for journeying with us,
Amy Joy and Layne
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:22-24
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Faith versus Fear
I always wish that I could sit right down at the computer to give you the update right after our appointments, but it never seems to work out that way. So thanks for your patience and continued prayers for our family!
I’m about 18 weeks along (almost halfway!), and I’m feeling good. I’m starting to show and had to give up my regular wardrobe a couple of weeks ago. I went to see our midwife last Thursday (October 22). Typical appointments include a weight check, blood pressure check, measuring my “belly” and listening to the baby’s heart beat. It took her a few minutes to find the baby’s heart beat. I think I held my breath most of that time! But…our little one has a great heart beat at about 140 beats per minute. I’m still measuring large for weeks but that may have to do with the position of the baby right now. We'll get a little peek inside in a few weeks on Friday, November 13th when we return to the maternal and fetal medicine specialist for another sonogram to check the baby’s development. I’ll update you after that appointment as soon as I’m able but until then please continue to pray:
Please pray for our little one—for that strong heart beat, for continued growth and fearful and wonderful development.
God has given me numerous occasions to choose to respond in faith during this pregnancy. Most times I have to will myself not to freak out and to trust the One who is knitting this little one together. His eyes see what ours can’t, and I’m learning to trust Him more. My stepmom has a little plaque on her bedroom wall that reads, “Worry slanders every promise in the Word of God.” Those words have often driven me to my knees and to His Word when fear tries to eclipse my faith in Him…when I first heard that something might be amiss, when I can’t sleep at night and worry about losing this little one, when I should have been feeling little kicks but wasn’t, when the midwife can’t find a heart beat, or when she says I’m measuring larger than I should. Our pastor reminded us this week that Christ left an example that we might follow in His steps and when He was faced with stress He prayed. I’m praying that whatever God is asking you to trust Him with that you will pray and find peace in the One who is ultimately trustworthy!
I’m about 18 weeks along (almost halfway!), and I’m feeling good. I’m starting to show and had to give up my regular wardrobe a couple of weeks ago. I went to see our midwife last Thursday (October 22). Typical appointments include a weight check, blood pressure check, measuring my “belly” and listening to the baby’s heart beat. It took her a few minutes to find the baby’s heart beat. I think I held my breath most of that time! But…our little one has a great heart beat at about 140 beats per minute. I’m still measuring large for weeks but that may have to do with the position of the baby right now. We'll get a little peek inside in a few weeks on Friday, November 13th when we return to the maternal and fetal medicine specialist for another sonogram to check the baby’s development. I’ll update you after that appointment as soon as I’m able but until then please continue to pray:
Please pray for our little one—for that strong heart beat, for continued growth and fearful and wonderful development.
God has given me numerous occasions to choose to respond in faith during this pregnancy. Most times I have to will myself not to freak out and to trust the One who is knitting this little one together. His eyes see what ours can’t, and I’m learning to trust Him more. My stepmom has a little plaque on her bedroom wall that reads, “Worry slanders every promise in the Word of God.” Those words have often driven me to my knees and to His Word when fear tries to eclipse my faith in Him…when I first heard that something might be amiss, when I can’t sleep at night and worry about losing this little one, when I should have been feeling little kicks but wasn’t, when the midwife can’t find a heart beat, or when she says I’m measuring larger than I should. Our pastor reminded us this week that Christ left an example that we might follow in His steps and when He was faced with stress He prayed. I’m praying that whatever God is asking you to trust Him with that you will pray and find peace in the One who is ultimately trustworthy!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Blood Test Results
The wait is finally over, for the blood test results at least. The nurse at the fetal medicine specialist's office told us that the blood test results coupled with the sonogram images indicate that we are at significantly increased odds of having a baby with Down's Syndrome. I never thought that would be good news, but I was actually relieved when I heard that. First, it is our understanding at this point that this is not a definite diagnosis. We know that we serve God who trumps any diagnosis. Secondly, compared to some of the other possible diagnoses, this one gives us hope that we will actually get to bring this little one home. Please continue to pray for the baby that God is knitting together even now--for health and good development. Pray for us that we would be faithful to follow Him every step.
I'll continue to update you not only with medical news but news of our family as it pertains to this little one. Our next appointment with our midwife is Thursday, October 22. We will probably have another sonogram around the halfway mark in my pregnancy (early November) to check the baby's development. We should know more about our little one then. For now, we wait, expecting great things of God.
Thanks for praying,
Amy Joy
I'll continue to update you not only with medical news but news of our family as it pertains to this little one. Our next appointment with our midwife is Thursday, October 22. We will probably have another sonogram around the halfway mark in my pregnancy (early November) to check the baby's development. We should know more about our little one then. For now, we wait, expecting great things of God.
Thanks for praying,
Amy Joy
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Journey of Faith
First, I want to again express our profound gratitude for your friendship and prayers! Knowing so many of you are praying for us is a true blessing!
Many of you are waiting for this post so that you know how to continue to pray for us and our little one because we were supposed to get the blood test results today. Unfortunately, the results were not available yet. Having to wait impresses upon me that this will be nothing if not a journey of faith. We pray that He will strengthen our faith (Luke 17:5) and help us in our unbelief (Mark 9:24). Will you pray with us as we wait that our little one would be healthy and that we would continue rest in His extravagant love for us?
With gratitude in my heart,
Amy Joy
Many of you are waiting for this post so that you know how to continue to pray for us and our little one because we were supposed to get the blood test results today. Unfortunately, the results were not available yet. Having to wait impresses upon me that this will be nothing if not a journey of faith. We pray that He will strengthen our faith (Luke 17:5) and help us in our unbelief (Mark 9:24). Will you pray with us as we wait that our little one would be healthy and that we would continue rest in His extravagant love for us?
With gratitude in my heart,
Amy Joy
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Just Enough Light for the Next Step
Thank you so much for your prayers! We have appreciated knowing you are praying for us. Many of you have sent such kind and compassionate words of encouragement. Thank you for your friendship and upholding us in prayer.
I apologize that I was not able to sit right down at the computer after the sonogram to update you. We’ve had a very busy last two days just taking care of some of the necessities of life. So thanks for your patience.
The maternal and fetal medicine specialist confirmed on Friday that our baby has an excess amount of fluid in its brain and spinal column. So our next prayer request is that this fluid would return to normal levels. He also explained to us several reasons why we might be seeing this excess fluid, but at this point we don’t have a definitive diagnosis. We had a blood test run that might shed some light on our baby’s situation. We’ll know those test results on Wednesday. At this point, we would love it if you would continue to pray that our baby would be healthy and fully formed. We’ll keep you updated as we find out information but this will be a journey. It may be six weeks or more before we have any answers.
I want to assure you that any answers we do receive will not affect whether we choose to carry this baby. We decided several years ago to allow God to plan our family and that we would be honored to carry any child that He entrusted to us. So the answers we might receive will just help our caregivers to know better how to treat us especially if we enter a high-risk category. Would you pray for our caregivers that God would impart His wisdom to them? We are so thankful for the people in the medical community we have journeyed with so far: for our midwives, who love moms and babies, and desire our very best; for the sonographer at the Catholic charity who accepts referrals from local midwives so that she can offer more sonograms to other moms who might be considering abortions with the hopes that seeing their babies will help them make a decision to choose life; for Dr. Magee, the maternal and fetal medicine specialist, that showed such kindness and compassion while offering us the information on the possibilities of what our baby might be experiencing. He really practices speaking the truth in love. I’m grateful for people who even if they don’t know Jesus allow me to see Him better. Please pray that we might be able to encourage the believers we meet and show Jesus to those who don’t know Him as we are on this journey.
We are believing God to be big, to delight in accomplishing what only He can, to confirm that things are not always as they appear to our eyes. Yet we know in this journey that while He may indeed delight in revealing His supremacy (Psalm 77:14), He may be asking us to rely on His sufficiency (2 Corinthians 12:9). Our prayer is that whatever journey the Lord is asking us to follow Him on that we would be found faithful. Right now we don’t know anything about the road ahead. He’s giving us just enough light for the next step.
With a grateful heart for your prayers and friendship,
Amy Joy for all the Olivos
I apologize that I was not able to sit right down at the computer after the sonogram to update you. We’ve had a very busy last two days just taking care of some of the necessities of life. So thanks for your patience.
The maternal and fetal medicine specialist confirmed on Friday that our baby has an excess amount of fluid in its brain and spinal column. So our next prayer request is that this fluid would return to normal levels. He also explained to us several reasons why we might be seeing this excess fluid, but at this point we don’t have a definitive diagnosis. We had a blood test run that might shed some light on our baby’s situation. We’ll know those test results on Wednesday. At this point, we would love it if you would continue to pray that our baby would be healthy and fully formed. We’ll keep you updated as we find out information but this will be a journey. It may be six weeks or more before we have any answers.
I want to assure you that any answers we do receive will not affect whether we choose to carry this baby. We decided several years ago to allow God to plan our family and that we would be honored to carry any child that He entrusted to us. So the answers we might receive will just help our caregivers to know better how to treat us especially if we enter a high-risk category. Would you pray for our caregivers that God would impart His wisdom to them? We are so thankful for the people in the medical community we have journeyed with so far: for our midwives, who love moms and babies, and desire our very best; for the sonographer at the Catholic charity who accepts referrals from local midwives so that she can offer more sonograms to other moms who might be considering abortions with the hopes that seeing their babies will help them make a decision to choose life; for Dr. Magee, the maternal and fetal medicine specialist, that showed such kindness and compassion while offering us the information on the possibilities of what our baby might be experiencing. He really practices speaking the truth in love. I’m grateful for people who even if they don’t know Jesus allow me to see Him better. Please pray that we might be able to encourage the believers we meet and show Jesus to those who don’t know Him as we are on this journey.
We are believing God to be big, to delight in accomplishing what only He can, to confirm that things are not always as they appear to our eyes. Yet we know in this journey that while He may indeed delight in revealing His supremacy (Psalm 77:14), He may be asking us to rely on His sufficiency (2 Corinthians 12:9). Our prayer is that whatever journey the Lord is asking us to follow Him on that we would be found faithful. Right now we don’t know anything about the road ahead. He’s giving us just enough light for the next step.
With a grateful heart for your prayers and friendship,
Amy Joy for all the Olivos
Where the Journey Started
Excerpt from an email we sent on Thursday, September 10, 2009:
...We feel so blessed to be in a place to call home since we are expecting another little one in March 2010. We covet your prayers right now for this little one. We went to the birth center yesterday for my first prenatal visit. The midwife told us that my uterus was larger than she expected for 12 weeks (3 months) so she sent us to have a sonogram. The sonogram revealed that our baby might possibly have a cyst in the forehead region so we have been referred to a maternal and fetal medicine specialist for a high-powered, high-tech sonogram. We have an appointment for that sonogram tomorrow (Friday, September 11). I really have no technical terms to share with you or any other information or possible diagnosis other than this. So we would appreciate your prayers. I will send out an update as soon as we have more information. Thanks for standing in the gap for us!
Love,
The Olivos
Layne, Amy Joy, Katy Jayne, Connor, Jordan and Baby Olivo
...We feel so blessed to be in a place to call home since we are expecting another little one in March 2010. We covet your prayers right now for this little one. We went to the birth center yesterday for my first prenatal visit. The midwife told us that my uterus was larger than she expected for 12 weeks (3 months) so she sent us to have a sonogram. The sonogram revealed that our baby might possibly have a cyst in the forehead region so we have been referred to a maternal and fetal medicine specialist for a high-powered, high-tech sonogram. We have an appointment for that sonogram tomorrow (Friday, September 11). I really have no technical terms to share with you or any other information or possible diagnosis other than this. So we would appreciate your prayers. I will send out an update as soon as we have more information. Thanks for standing in the gap for us!
Love,
The Olivos
Layne, Amy Joy, Katy Jayne, Connor, Jordan and Baby Olivo
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